Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
