He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
