After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have started to decorate penises.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
