Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
