To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
