..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
