haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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