The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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