Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
did i just pee glitter
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
