whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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