bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Two words: blizzard sex
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
