never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
