I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
