whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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