Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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