My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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