after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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