The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't turn off my feet"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
