My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
