So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
