"it" just moved
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
