hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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