I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Pants are for mortals
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
