I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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