"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
