1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
