I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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