Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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