TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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