What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
