Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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