The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
