Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
