If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
