Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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