all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
