Say something about gay babies.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
