At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
