Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
