so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
