i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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