you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
