Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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