haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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