What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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