Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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