Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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