We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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