He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
