how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
