i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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