i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
